Romantasy Men I’d Pledge My Mortal Soul To (and Those I’d Ghost Like a Coward)

A Court of Horny and Questionable Decisions

“Fantasy romance has taught me many things, but mostly that if a man has wings, a tragic backstory, and no furniture in his house, I will fall in love with him immediately.”

When I was younger, I wanted Mr Darcy. Or Professor Bhaer. Or that literary rake with a secret weakness for intelligent women and mist. But then I grew up, got very tired, and discovered romantasy. You know - books where everyone is a fae warrior or a magical assassin with great cheekbones, deep trauma, and absolutely no concept of therapy.

Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR, to those of us who whisper about mating bonds over wine) rewired my brain. It made me ask questions like: Would I sell my soul to a leather-clad male who hasn’t emotionally regulated since the War of Burning Skies? Is “mate” now the hottest word in the English language?

Yes. Yes it is.

So here they are - the romantasy men of ACOTAR I’d happily doom myself for, and the ones I’d politely decline with a hastily scrawled “best of luck” on a napkin.

Yes. Take Me. I’ll Be the Girl Who Dies for Plot.

1. Rhysand (High Lord of the Night Court)
Yes, it’s obvious. Yes, it’s basic. I don’t care. Rhysand is the dark chocolate soufflé of fantasy men. Arrogant. Powerful. So casually gorgeous it should be criminal. He calls himself a “monster” at least once per chapter, which is exactly the kind of self-mythologising nonsense I lap up like cream.

Does he sometimes act like a morally grey HR director? Yes. Would I still move to Velaris tomorrow and immediately start hosting charity galas in sheer gowns for the Illyrians? Absolutely. I wouldn’t survive a week, but I’d die with wing-shaped bruises and no regrets.

2. Cassian (Commander of the Night Court’s Armies and my personal downfall)
Cassian is the himbo with hidden depths. He's big, brooding, loyal, and has the emotional intelligence of a golden retriever who’s read some poetry. He will fight your enemies and bring you soup. He will call you sweetheart while bleeding out and still apologise for not texting back.

Would I trust him to remember a dinner reservation? No. Would I still follow him into battle, emotionally or otherwise? Yes. Especially otherwise.

3. Azriel (The Shadowsinger, emotionally unavailable with a tragic jawline)
Azriel is the human embodiment of a Tumblr post that just says “I’m fine.” He has shadows. He broods. He whispers. He has a voice like smoke and sadness. He disappears into corners and listens.

In real life, this would be horrifying. But in fiction? Inject it. Wrap me in those mystery shadows, give me one emotionally constipated hand-brush, and I will imprint like a duckling.

No, Thank You. I Am Not That Spiritually Flexible.

1. Tamlin (High Lord of the Spring Court and walking red flag bouquet)
Tamlin is what happens when toxic masculinity puts on a floral shirt. He starts off hot. He's protective. He saves you. You think: Maybe he's misunderstood! And then, ten chapters later, he's controlling, jealous, and deeply committed to emotional hostage-taking.

He has “republican senator energy” - all hollow tradition and temper tantrums. He’d mansplain wisteria. He’d put a tracker on your phone and call it “romance.” I wouldn’t just ghost Tamlin. I’d move courts and change my scent.

2. Lucien (That guy who’s technically nice but still gives the ick)
Look, I want to like Lucien. He has a tragic backstory, a mechanical eye, and the sort of dry wit I usually fall for. But there’s something... off. He’s like the ex who remembers your birthday but also voted against your best interests. Too loyal to the wrong people. Too polite when he should be setting things on fire.

Lucien is the fantasy version of the nice guy who leaves long, earnest comments under your Instagram stories. I would pat him on the shoulder and then fake a portal malfunction to avoid dinner.

Honourable Mentions (And Questionable Life Choices)

  • Helion: chaotic good. bisexual energy. would absolutely wreck your life in an exquisite way. yes.
  • Thesan: seems stable. probably moisturises. unfortunately, not tragic enough for me.
  • Beron: absolutely not. your father-in-law should not plot your murder.
  • Eris: spicy. toxic. manipulative. I have learned nothing from past mistakes. yes.
  • Jurian: once a severed eyeball. now a man again. energy is off. pass.

The Mating Bond: Sexy or Spiritual Pyramid Scheme?

Let’s talk about the mating bond. A sacred, mystical, soul-deep connection where your fate is sealed and your loins are always on simmer. On paper, it’s romantic. In practice, it’s a magical HR nightmare.

I’ve been in relationships where a man said, “You’re the only one who understands me,” and it turned out he was just too lazy to wash his sheets. A magical mating bond just formalises that chaos. But somehow... I still want it.

Let me be clear: if a hot fae warrior walked into a room and said “You’re my mate,” I would not ask questions. I would simply begin peeling off layers and emotionally unravelling on the spot.

Real Talk: Why Do We Love These Men?

Because real life is full of men who send you “u up?” texts at 2am and leave you on read during flu season. Romantasy men? They train for 500 years, get covered in scars, and still learn how to pleasure you in fourteen different dimensions.

They see you once, sniff the air like troubled bloodhounds, and decide: This one. Her. Forever. Is it realistic? No. Is it feminism? Also no. Do I care? Absolutely not.

Let me have my magic wars and shadow-slingers. Let me dream of winged warriors with emotional damage and six-pack abs. Let me believe that somewhere, in a court of moonlight and mist, a fae general is waiting to ruin me in the nicest possible way.

“Romantasy taught me that you can survive a war, fall in love with a centuries-old bat boy, and still find time to wear a sheer gown and save the world.”

Like what you read?

Follow @ChaptersBookStore Blogs for more absurd essays on love, books, winged men, and the questionable things I’ve googled at midnight. Share this with a friend who thinks Velaris sounds like a good honeymoon. Comment with your ACOTAR crush or who you'd absolutely barge-pole into another realm.

Until the next ridiculous obsession!