One semi-tropical Fourth of July, Joe Queenan's English wife suggested that the family might like a chicken vindaloo in lieu of the customary barbecue. It was this pitiless act of gastronomic cultural oppression that inspired the author to make a solitary pilgrimage to Great Britain. Queenan decided that he would not come back from Albion until he had finally figured out what made the British tick.
Crisscrossing Old Blighty, Queenan finally came to terms with the choochiness, squiffiness, ponciness and sticky wicketness that lies at the heart of the British character. Here he is trying to find out whose idea it was to impale King Edward II on a red-hot poker -- and what this says about English sexual politics. Here he is in an Edinburgh pub foolishly trying to defend Paul McCartney's "Ebony and Ivory" while "The Mull of Kintire" blares away on the TV. And here he is, trapped in a concert hall with a Coventry-based all-Brit Eagles Tribute Band named Talon who resent that they are nowhere near as famous as their evil nemeses, the Illegal Eagles. At the end of his epic adventure, the author returns chastened, wiser and happier, encouraged that his wife is as sane as she is, all things considered.
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📄 Exercise Your Right of Withdrawal
Under EU consumer law, you have the right to withdraw from your purchase within 14 days of receiving your order, without giving a reason. To formally exercise this right, use the button below. This is a distinct function separate from our general returns process.
Notice of Withdrawal
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Your right to cancel
If you order online, you have the right to cancel your order within 14 days of receiving your goods, without giving a reason. This cooling-off period runs from the day you (or someone you nominate) receives the last item in your order. To cancel, contact us at shop@chaptersbookstore.com stating your order number and your wish to withdraw from the purchase. Once we've confirmed your cancellation, you have 14 days to send the goods back to us.
Condition of returned items
To be eligible for a refund, your item must be returned unworn, unused and unread, in its original packaging, and in the same condition you received it. You'll also need your receipt or proof of purchase. If your return is based on the item's condition on arrival, please include a photo so we can advise the best resolution.
Faulty or damaged items
Please inspect your order on arrival and contact us immediately if an item is defective, damaged, or not what you ordered. Separately from the 14-day cancellation right above, you're entitled to a repair, replacement or refund on faulty goods for up to two years from purchase, under standard consumer guarantee rights.
This guarantee covers manufacturing faults only, such as printing errors, missing pages, or binding defects present at the time of purchase. It does not cover damage arising from normal use or wear, including creased spines, worn covers, marked pages or general signs of reading. If you're unsure whether an issue qualifies, send us a photo and we'll be happy to advise.
How to return
To start a return, contact us at shop@chaptersbookstore.com. If your return is accepted, we'll send you a return shipping label and instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted. If a return is due to an error on our part, we'll cover the postage cost.
Exceptions and non-returnable items
Certain items cannot be returned, including custom products, special orders, sale items and gift cards.
Trade-In Programme
If you're trading in previously owned books rather than returning a purchase, please see our separate Trade-In Programme terms, which operate independently of this policy.
Refunds
Once we've received and inspected your return, we'll let you know if the refund has been approved. If approved, you'll be refunded automatically to your original payment method. Please allow some time for your bank or card provider to process and post the refund.
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