All you want is a decent cup of tea. But oh no, modern Britain doesn't want to give you that. It wants to sell you a fancy Dan coffee in a mug the size of a popcorn bucket, complete with double cream, chocolate sprinkles, and no change from a five pound note.
And that's just for starters. Everywhere you look, modern life has turned common sense completely on its head. Call centres keep you on hold from three different continents. Train doors close thirty seconds before departure. And as if there wasn't enough cheese on your pizza already, they're now stuffing it into your crust as well. From speed cameras to organic vegetables, mobile phones to celebrity idiots, this hilarious new book lays bare the sheer lunacy of modern living. One Grump or Two is for everyone who has ever found Great Britain is starting to grate, and dreams of a world where football matches start at 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, the top forty is full of songs you can whistle in the bath, and cafes still serve you a proper cup of tea.
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📄 Exercise Your Right of Withdrawal
Under EU consumer law, you have the right to withdraw from your purchase within 14 days of receiving your order, without giving a reason. To formally exercise this right, use the button below. This is a distinct function separate from our general returns process.
Notice of Withdrawal
Please complete all fields. You will receive a copy of this notice at your email address as confirmation of receipt.
Your right to cancel
If you order online, you have the right to cancel your order within 14 days of receiving your goods, without giving a reason. This cooling-off period runs from the day you (or someone you nominate) receives the last item in your order. To cancel, contact us at shop@chaptersbookstore.com stating your order number and your wish to withdraw from the purchase. Once we've confirmed your cancellation, you have 14 days to send the goods back to us.
Condition of returned items
To be eligible for a refund, your item must be returned unworn, unused and unread, in its original packaging, and in the same condition you received it. You'll also need your receipt or proof of purchase. If your return is based on the item's condition on arrival, please include a photo so we can advise the best resolution.
Faulty or damaged items
Please inspect your order on arrival and contact us immediately if an item is defective, damaged, or not what you ordered. Separately from the 14-day cancellation right above, you're entitled to a repair, replacement or refund on faulty goods for up to two years from purchase, under standard consumer guarantee rights.
This guarantee covers manufacturing faults only, such as printing errors, missing pages, or binding defects present at the time of purchase. It does not cover damage arising from normal use or wear, including creased spines, worn covers, marked pages or general signs of reading. If you're unsure whether an issue qualifies, send us a photo and we'll be happy to advise.
How to return
To start a return, contact us at shop@chaptersbookstore.com. If your return is accepted, we'll send you a return shipping label and instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted. If a return is due to an error on our part, we'll cover the postage cost.
Exceptions and non-returnable items
Certain items cannot be returned, including custom products, special orders, sale items and gift cards.
Trade-In Programme
If you're trading in previously owned books rather than returning a purchase, please see our separate Trade-In Programme terms, which operate independently of this policy.
Refunds
Once we've received and inspected your return, we'll let you know if the refund has been approved. If approved, you'll be refunded automatically to your original payment method. Please allow some time for your bank or card provider to process and post the refund.
Free Delivery in the Republic Of Ireland on all orders over €30. Standard Delivery Charge in Republic of Ireland of €5 for all orders below €30.
Delivery is subject to warehouse availability. Out-of-stock items will be shipped as soon as possible, upon arrival from the manufacturer/publisher. Please take shipping time into consideration.