€5 off first Book Purchase of €30+ | With Code: CHAPTERSBOOKSTORE
I awoke at 4:45 am in Johannesburg, South Africa, in my bra and underwear and looked over at my lesbian friend Shelly, who was fully clothed in a pair of pajamas. Adult pajamas in general are hard to take seriously; they're even harder to respect when they're worn by a forty-five-year-old woman and the pajamas have pick-up trucks silk-screened all over them.
There were six of us being picked up at 9:15 to be flown into the 'bush,' which happened to be the first leg of our safari. The six included my cousin Molly, age twenty-six. She is the younger, white version of Tyler Perry's Madea. Large and in charge. Molly loved animals and wanted to become a zoologist before her parents convinced her to aim lower and work on a reality show. Her birth name is Ulrike because we hail from Nazis, but in an effort to live a peaceful life alongside our Jewish brethren, she chose her middle name-Molly-to use personally and semi-professionally.
Accompanying us was my newly divorced sister Simone (I encouraged it). She refers to me often as a relationship-wrecker.
Also on the trip was my oldest friend in L.A., Hannah. (She has had different names in all my books, and I simply don't have the energy to reread any of them to find out what the names were.) She too was newly broken up and seemed extremely upbeat about it.
The other safari goer was Sue Murphy, who is a co-executive producer on my TV show, Chelsea Lately. Sue would best be described as a female Hunter S. Thompson but with her shit slightly more together. She is the type of person who, finding herself with a bottle of vodka and no glass, will gladly empty the vodka into her bowl of cereal and then proceed to inhale it with a spoon. We refer to her as 'sixty, single, and looking.' She is not even close to sixty, but it makes people go up to her and whisper that she looks great for her age.
- Publisher Name:Little, Brown & Company
- ISBN: 9781478978176
- Author:Handler, Chelsea
- Publication Date:2015-02-24
If you are not satisfied with your order in any way, get in touch. We have an excellent customer service record and we will do our best to ensure you are pleased with your purchase.
We are happy to refund a product if it is defective, within 30 days of purchase upon the return of your product. If you return a product to us and request a refund due to an error on our part we will be happy to pay for the postage cost to return it to us.
To be eligible for a return, your item must be in the same condition that you received it, unworn or unused & unread, and in its original packaging. You’ll also need the receipt or proof of purchase.
Please note, if you are requesting a refund based on an issue with condition we kindly ask you to provide a photo in order for us to best advise a suitable resolution.
To start a return, you can contact us at shop@chaptersbookstore.com. If your return is accepted, we’ll send you a return shipping label, as well as instructions on how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted.
You can always contact us for any return question at shop@chaptersbookstore.com.
Damages and issues
Please inspect your order upon reception and contact us immediately if the item is defective, damaged or if you receive the wrong item, so that we can evaluate the issue and make it right.
Exceptions / non-returnable items
Certain types of items cannot be returned, like custom products or special orders. Unfortunately, we cannot accept returns on sale items or gift cards.
Exchanges
The fastest way to ensure you get what you want is to return the item you have, and once the return is accepted, make a separate purchase for the new item.
Refunds
We will notify you once we’ve received and inspected your return, and let you know if the refund was approved or not. If approved, you’ll be automatically refunded on your original payment method. Please remember it can take some time for your bank or credit card company to process and post the refund too.
Delivery is subject to warehouse availability. Out-of-stock items will be shipped as soon as possible, upon arrival from the manufacturer/publisher. Please take shipping time into consideration.
